Chest Bearing...

Way back in May of 1962 my mother gave me a Bible and wrote a little note on the back page.

It reads: Gary, I love you more than anyone. Always be good and when you haven't mother and daddy around. When in trouble or sorrow, go to the Lord. Mother.

I used that Bible for a long time before retiring it to a safe place. Mom died in 1980 and shortly after that, my brother and I were having a conversation about Mom and some things we remembered about her. Soon the Bible mom gave me was mentioned by my brother and I was stunned when he told me how much it had hurt him to know that mom loved me more than she loved him. I wondered where he came up with that idea. My sister and I have always known that Mom loved my brother more than she loved either of us. MY brother quoted the first sever words Mother had written in my Bible. Do you see what he read? Same words I have read hundreds of times. Just interpreted with different meaning. I read it to be ... Mother loved me more than anyone ELSE loved me. My brother read it to be .... Mother loved me more than she loved anyone ELSE, including my brother.

I say all this because I on two occasions now have written words on this forum that have been taken in a way that they were never intended. I have probably done it more than these two times, but I am aware of these two at least. In the first case, I hurt a very dear friend. May even lose his friendship all together. I wish I could take the words back. But I can't. Just as the words of my mother were not meant to hurt anyone, neither were mine. As one of our Brits said... same language, but may lose something when put on paper. My spirits are a little damp right now. Almost afraid to post this because it is sure to lose something on here.

I read somewhere the following: Friends are the angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly ...

I am going to be a little invisible for a while. Gotta get on the scoot and get some miles under my wings. Gonna take some flying lessons so to speak.

Gary

Well, it won't lose me or anyone else if I'm not mistaken.

I'm very fortunate in knowing personally many of the regulars on my other forum and chaps like Waspie I know second-hand as it were - friends of friends - so there are few if any misunderstandings amongst us.

I feel very happy here, amongst friends old and new and trust that anything I post will be taken in the (good) spirit in which it's meant, sent to friends old and new.

Don't be gone too long, my new friend.
Ride safe.

Gary, I'm one of the ones who misunderstood your posts and after reading this I feel quite rotten now.

But as I said in another thread, we speak the same language but unless we are seriously adept at writing which I am not either we will confuse. Having worked with a few Americans over the years there are definite diferences in humour and language. I don't think any of of us intentionally wish to write something damming. I, like you apparently, simply do not have the skills to put what we wish to say as well as others. That is why I rely on the emotions to attempt show my mood etc.

Go for your rides but don't disappear simply because I sought clarification on your humour. Maybe I was too direct, again I apologise.

Doug

Miscues in communication is a major problem in casual written communications. The Steve Saunders Goldwing page is a well known website that is renowned for it's friendliness and lack of contention and flaming. It's taken Steve and his moderators a lot of work not to mention the members to keep things from becoming rambunctions and rancorous. Steve is Irish, and the site has 20,000 members located all over the world. It's true that the English language is what separates us. Humor and usages differ among all the different English speaking countries. It's even more difficult for the members whose mother tongue isn't English. The emoticons help a lot to indicate whether something is humorous or serious since we can't see each other's body language to know if they are kidding or serious. The main thing we can do to help is to assume the other person isn't attacking or insulting. It can just be a difference cultural reference that causes misunderstandings. The best response would be to ask and to do that after an interval when one doesn't tend to 'fly off at the keyboard' so to speak. I like this website because it has those similarities to the Steve Saunder's site where I spend most of my time. It's always a pleasure to join conversations where one is welcomed and people treat each other with respect and consideration. So if once in a while when I inevitably stick my pedal extremity in my oral orifice don't think I mean it, it's just a poorly considered posting.

In my experience, and I'm kinda in the communication business, you might say, clear communication is nowhere near as simple or easy or automatic as we sometimes think. Add to that baseline the challenges presented by cross cultural communication and you're increasing the chances of misunderstanding tremendously. Add to that the "blind" communication of the written word and you up the ante even further.

In fact, it's a small miracle (or maybe a large one) that there isn't a whole lot more of it here or anywhere else. Just speaking for myself, of the three Swing forums that I know about - I participate in two of them, and the third one I pretty much leave alone because it does not, for me, meet the kind of criteria that exavid talks about - this one is, for me, the most cordial and helpful and friendly and respectful of them all.

Gary, please do whatever you need to do to lick your wounds and feel supported, and please accept my admiration for putting yourself out there as you have done, and please don't stay away too long. S**T happens, as we all know, and when there is no intent to cause harm or hurt, it seems to me that there is always room for repair.

Gary,

Please don't disappear. I must have missed the problems you all are talking about, but we should all take for granted that no one is being mean or nasty, if anyone thinks they've been insulted or the like, its probably a mistake of some kind, by either the writer or the reader or both.

I'd miss you if you left, but I agree that a good ride will make you feel better.

Mandy

Gary , most of us realise that the written word can be ambiguous and take it into consideration when reading a posting. I know I have come across as odd or strange a few times as I tend to write as I speak. We Aussies speak differently to the Poms (Brits) as well as the denizens of the northern Americas and this can cause misunderstandings on many fronts. I try to keep things humourous ( note I spell this correctly, not abbreviated to humor ) to keep a light note on the posts. If anyone has ever been insulted or has thought I have been out of line, it certainly was not my intention. My philosophy is this world is too small and life's too short to make enemies, so lets rock n roll and have fun!

Thanks for all the good thoughts...between those and a few good rides on the scooter, I'm feeling good and glad to be back. Still promise to be a little more careful with my choice of words I use. I do appreciate the kind words here and look forward to continued friendships with you all.

Gary

Splendid!
Glad you weren't away very long.